Today I want to continue talking about the “Serenity Prayer” because I believe many of us are struggling with the times we are living in.  It can be particularly depressing as the days, weeks, and months drag on. If we haven’t previously seen God in action in our lives, it is difficult to trust Him in our world.

I have seen God’s action in my life, and that keeps me from much worry. Still, accepting the reality of current limitations can be daunting. I feel I am losing my freedom and dignity in making my own choices.

My Weakness and God’s Strength

But, the thing of it is, I can develop an angry and cynical attitude, or I can become humble before God, admit my weakness, and find my strength in Him. Paul said, in 2 Corinthians, “When I am weak, then I am strong.”

My inability to change things doesn’t mean I’m resigned to the worst. My strength comes in praying for God to intervene, knowing that He can change all things in His time, if and as He wills.

I’ve often said that I was educated at the “school of hard knocks.” Aside from being plagued by depression for many years, I have experienced some pretty big heartaches in my life.

Not quite four years into our marriage, my husband and I were blessed with a baby boy. However, our son, because of an injury at birth, spent most of his short life in a hospital and died just days after his first birthday. After that loss, I suffered a miscarriage. Some time later, our next son came into our lives. We were overjoyed, but he has struggled with some issues that have affected all of our lives. When our third son arrived, all was well, and we were so thankful. But at fifteen years of age, he became a burn victim whose recovery was a year-long process. In between those times, both of my parents passed away. Thankfully, they had both lived good, long lives. Several years later, our older son’s partner passed away because of a heart attack, leaving two young children, one of whom was seven weeks old. We were privileged to help take care of these little ones. A few years after that, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Thankfully, it was caught early.

Character

I can’t say that we know why these things happened to us, but they have made us who we are. I think they have built character in us because early on we decided to accept these events as God’s plan for our lives and, as the saying goes, “become better, not bitter.” In acceptance there is peace.           

In my first post I told a story of how God answered my prayers in a wonderful way. But sometimes our way doesn’t open up before us in that manner. Sometimes it seems like our prayers don’t go any further than the ceiling, and it isn’t easy to trust God and His timing. And that is exactly what has happened in my life. My family and I have experienced grief in our lives for a couple of years now. God has impressed on my heart that unless He works this situation out, it will not happen. All the trying on my part will not fix it. At various times, each of us has gone through a period of anger.

Father Jonathan Morris, in his book, The Way of Serenity, says “…letting go of things that really do need fixing can feel like injustice, irresponsibility, or indifference on our part. Sometimes I have even felt guilty about trying to leave in God’s hands the things I know I cannot change, as if worrying about them means I’m doing something positive about them. But that’s shallow thinking on my part. Serenity of soul is not equal to being in control.” Oh, how true this is for me.

Peace

As I’ve said before, peace is something I highly value. Peace inside is possible even when things are not going the way we wish them to. The way I have found and continue to find peace is by letting go. I am learning that happiness and satisfaction do not come from outward circumstances but from knowing all is well in my own heart.